“I wonder if we ever overthink each other at the same time” – Random Instagram post
Today is one of the rare days were I start writing with no title yet, just because I feel like sharing my feelings and updating you guys on the evolution of life. As you read the next paragraph, I would like you to picture it.
It’s the beginning of April, still a bit cold in Quebec. I am laying in bed, my body aches and I am not feeling so well. Could it be the fact that all I have been doing is work, sleep, eat, shower, repeat ? Would that be a bad thing ? That is what I most was doing anyways given all the lockdown restrictions – I will refrain from discussing potential illegal gatherings that may or may not have occured briefly. I was healthily physically ill – Now I’ll let you make that make sense… My organs needed to be shaken and my body needed to be moved. I think the universe was sending me a huge sign :” The human body – specially yours – is not made to be stationary girl” ! So, I strapped up ! I started a 30 day yoga following discussions with a friend of mine on commitment and physical activity.
If you are interested and think you have what it takes to commit 30 days to some not hot yoga, I followed the BREATH – A 30 Day Yoga Journey with Yoga with Adriane on Youtube. I needed something free that I could do at home and that will massage and tackle all my organs at once. It worked. Prior to that, I had only flirted with Yoga and dreaded the first sessions with a passion but in the end, I found myself being grateful. Grateful for Yoga – Who would have thought! I then started biking beginning of may and by the end of that month I was also running. It’s these: once you start you can’t stop type of things and I am happy about it, my body feels good, my confidence has improved and I can feel like my brain is breathing well again – another one for you to figure out. I was at a point where I was cancelling plans to go for runs – Can you imagine ? Oops.
I mentioned earlier being grateful for Yoga, but there are other things that I started being grateful – I did get a push from my cousin who knows I love a challenge. This time around, I had to find on a daily 3 new things to be grateful for before falling asleep. I ended up finding myself thinking about these 3 items every day when dropping the kids off at the swimming pool (I’ll let you google that after reading this post) – I guess that’s where we get our best ideas ! After 2 weeks of doing it, I was running out of things to be grateful for, should I have been grateful for each elements on earth – that could have lasted me a few years I bet. But I didn’t, Amongst other things, I ended up being grateful for a roof, for friends, for family, for music, for musicians, for human kindness, for my ancestors, for all my lovers, for all my colleagues, for all the material things who help us get through the day and always I am grateful for my bed – a long time best friend.
Have you ever wondered what you are grateful for ? Think about it! And while you do so, I’ll talk to you about my weight loss challenge in may and how it helped my savings. 3rd of may, I joined a weight loss challenge group, the principle was simple : don’t order or eat out, fix yourself a weight loss objective and attain it – mine : 10lbs. I did fairly well and met the objective, it was though as myself and Ubereats know each other on a first name basis – Yes, in other words: Uber had the all access VIP seat in my credit card, and like a true regular, never missed a statement! In may though – only one ticket was bought (a cheat weekend was allowed) and I was proud. My wallet was over the moon. I came to a realisation that I already knew but confirmed: more than 25% of my income is spent on take-outs. This was a game changer ! I have since then slowly decreased Ubereats access to my precious coins and my savings are excited – Insert cheers with casino cashing money sound.
The month of June, I did some gardening and started dating again. I feel like at this point I should just give up on dating. I’ve gotten so good at being me that I don’t have time to play games, If I like you, you’ll know. If I don’t I’ll tell you and we move on. Perhaps I didn’t give this dating thing a fair chance ? Sadly, 3 weeks after being on Hinge, I was overwhelmed, it was too much – Of course it was, look at me… I am definitely a catch ! Work was also ramping up, and people who know me will tell you: I don’t play with my work. But I did meet some nice guys (details will be left for another post if that is something that interest you). I observed plenty (like a scientist in a study), did you know that a great deal of the men out there are “damaged”? I don’t know what the women (or men themselves) are doing out there but these boys are in their 30’s walking with broken hearts.
By interacting with my boyfriend candidates even after a quick discussion, I could unveil past relationship fears and scars aka “baggages”. Like the one who thinks all women will cheat on him, the one who thinks he’s got the best life story, the one so stuck on past scars that won’t ever have the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, the one that wants a relationship and says he “really” likes you but doesn’t show it. Do people nowadays need a simple book on how to just love or show love ? Where did some parents go wrong ? Maybe after 25 yo, since our parents are not matching us anymore – it’s not 1880 obviously-, we should both show up to the first date with a written list, check the boxes off and try it out for 3 months and call it probation (not dating, not seeing each other, just good ol probation with a start and an end. This year, I also came to the great realisation that having a partner is nice but not having one is very fine in 2021, and on that note, we shouldn’t “not settle or settle”, you like the person, go for it, they hurt you leave, the planet is big enough, life is short enough.
I want to end with this : ” Stop complicating things and say things how you mean them – It might come out wrong but if it’s the right person, it’ll go right”.
On that note please don’t go out there insulting people on my behalf, I condone cussing !